Getting Centered

I am feeling calmer about things in my life at the moment. I am nervous about a potential job in Asheville. I am supposed to hear from them the middle of this week to set up a second interview. They seemed very positive about wanting to hire me but it is Thursday and I haven't heard anything yet. I am working hard to not let my self-doubts and imagination make things worse than they are. My thoughts want to race toward "they don't really want to hire me, they aren't going to call, they don't have a position anymore, and on and on." All that does is make me feel very nervous and panicky and stressed. So, I went for a walk this morning and spend some time getting clear about this whole topic - I came to realize that all these crazy, distressing thoughts are just that, thoughts. All I really know is that they haven't called yet and there could be a thousand different reasons for that. That's fact. All my crazy thoughts are just stories springing up out of fear and doubt. I also came to realize that althought I really want this job because I want to make the move over to Asheville and I like the company, I would be okay if that didn't happen right now. If it doesn't happen, then it wasn't the right time and place and it will happen when it is right. I spent a few minutes sitting next to the river, centering myself in the sensations of feeling peaceful and okay with whatever happens. It was a nice way to start my day.

Another reason I am feeling calmer is that I had myself an "artist date" yesterday (from the book The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron - it's a great book!). I went for a walk in the rain for a while. I love the rain and the way it feels and smells and how my walks in them are usually very quiet (because most people stay inside when it rains!). After my walk it stopped raining so I took my camera to the park and started taking random pictures of whatever caught my eye. I ended up with lots of pictures of paths leading into the woods or around a bend or up over a hill or down a hill. I have this strange love of pictures of paths - dirt paths, paved paths, gravel paths - particularly ones that disappear into woods or off into the distance. I have the same strange love of roads disappearing off into the distance or around bends and curves. I love these images because they make me think of all the possibilities in life. I see these paths or roads disappearing around a bend or into trees and I start to wonder about what possibilities could be around the bend or on the other side of the trees. I think these images just bring up feels of mystery and wonder and endless possibility. They give me the warm fuzzies! :)

I am also starting a new venture soon. One of my passions is working with people who are struggling with grief. I get to work in this area some at work but I also work on lots of other things with kids in therapy - it's more general than any specific speciality area. Someday I will work exclusively with grief and trauma but not at the moment. Anyway, I decided to build a website that offers support to individuals who are grieving. I already have a blog that focuses on healing grief but this website would be more extensive. I will eventually move my blog over to the website once I get it up and running. The website will also offer individualized support from me through emails and chats, group forums for people to support each other, and lists of books and websites on grief in addition to the blog. I don't have a clue how it will go but I am in the process of learning more about building websites and working to get it started. I am very excited about it because I love working with this area and I love challenging myself to try new things. I am not approaching the website as a therapist offering expert advice (I'm not that kind of therapist anyway) but more as a person who has struggled to find her own path to healing and is now in a place to offer assistance and support to others. It will be fun to see how it develops and works out!