Renewing Focus

I have had some serious attention splatter going on. I do a lot of it in general with email, blog stats, food, books, etc. I have also been doing it a lot with my intentions and the changes I want to make in my life. So, I decided I needed to sit down and spend some time getting clear on what aspects of my life I want to put my energy and attention into most right now. I had to decide what aspects could take a backseat for a while. These are the areas of my life I ultimately want to transform:

Career
Creativity
Relationships / Dating
Self-esteem / body image
Health (physical & emotional)
Living Space
Where I live
Finances / Money
and more

Not exactly a short list (or really complete). I have a feeling that more would happen more quickly if I focused my attention on just a couple areas instead of jumping around between all of them. I also sense that as things shift in one area, the other areas will shift as well. So, I have choosen 3 areas to put my attention on in a focused way for the next month. Once this month is up, I will revisit my list and reconsider. From July 29 to August 29, the areas I will focus my intentions on will be Career, Creativity, and Finances/Money. This does not mean I will stop doing all that I've been doing in other areas -- like health. I will continue to be more active, do the Sunrider herbs, the vegan thing, etc. I'm just not going to add anything in those areas right now. My overall intention is to heal and balance my life. All these aspects are areas under that umbrella of that -- so shifts in any will impact the whole.

Career, Creativity, and Finances/Money goals:

Career: Become clear on what I want as my current life's work. Become clear on what is fulfilling and meaningful to me. Discover what I love to do and what I can do to create that in my life.

Creativity: Expand the self-imposed limitations of what I can do. Find more ways to express myself and my passions. Follow and complete the 12 week course in The Artist's Way. Explore opportunities to write, create, and dream. Commit to writing more blog entries and exploring other artistic outlets.

Finances/Money: Explore the ways in which I limit myself and work to turn them around. Develop other avenues of income other than my full-time job and Crisis. Focus on abundance in my life, create enjoyment in receiving, giving, and spending money and trusting that I will always have more than I need. Expand my view of wealth, money, and abundance. Shed the belief that I don't deserve money and learn to accept wealth.

I am a little surprised by the direction I have chosen to focus on with these and with everything I've spent the most time on since the retreat in June. I had thought I would focus more on relationships and dating. As I write about this, I am bombarded with doubts and fears for choosing to let self-esteem, health, relationships, dating, and all the rest not be my primary focus for a while. I am learning to trust, however, that all will get its own attention and focus in the right way and in the right time. It feels right now to develop the areas of career, creativity, and money.

Sometimes I get so impatient for things to change RIGHT NOW, it feels like a lion is trying to claw it's way out of my chest. I think these are the times when my attention splatter is the worst. And I can remember having these feelings as far back as middle school and the driving need to do more, see more, and be more. Sometimes I feel like I want too much. This time, I want to do things differently. The lion clawing has reared up with a vengence today but instead of racing around like a mad woman to make it go away, I am choosing to listen to it and to use it to put my energy and focus on these 3 areas of my life.

It should be fun to see what happens in the next months with the intensified focus. I wonder what miracles life will bring.